Our poor little Khloe's left femur is broken and I know you all are wondering how in the world did an 8 week old end up with a broken leg. On Wednesday afternoon when it was raining I returned home from an interview and went next door to Aunt Peggy's house to pick up the girls. As I was leaving with them I had Khloe in my arms and I stepped off of the porch, there was some mud there and as soon as my foot touched down it instantly slid out from under me. I fell but managed to hang on to Khloe and I caught her head making sure it did not hit the ground. Apparently her leg must have hit though, but I did not know it at the time. She did not even cry, she wasn't startled or anything she just looked at me after we fell.
Khloe was acting perfectly normal all that evening so I did not take her to the doctor to get checked out after the fall because she seemed perfectly fine. However last night she was crying a very shrill cry and it was so out of character for her, she wasn't bearing weight on her left leg when we would hold her up with her feet on the couch her leg would just start twitching. That was our first indication something was wrong with her leg, I laid her down and lifted her leg up, when I let it go she had no control of it going down it just flopped. So AJ and I took Brooklynn to Aunt Peggys and Khloe to Children's.
I have never been seen so quickly by Children's emergency dept. No sooner than we checked in they called us back to triage for vitals and they immediately sent us to the trauma unit. If you have never been to the trauma unit before I highly suggest you avoid it at all costs. The nurse warned us that the room was about to get very crowded but it did not prepare me for it. About ten doctors rushed into the room and start a head to toe check of Khloe shouting out medical terms that I have no clue what they mean. It was terrifying, I felt so helpless and terribly guilty. They sent us for xrays and then we waited for what seemed like an eternity.
Finally one of the doctors comes to our room and confirms that Khloe had a femur fracture and they would be sending in Ortho. All I could do was cry. To say I feel like the worst mom in the world does not even begin to cover how awful I feel. I hurt my poor innocent baby, I broke her leg. The guilt that consumes me is so powerful I can't fully describe it to you.
Khloe will be in her harness for probably 3-4 weeks, she's too young for a cast so this is our only option. She cries every time I move her, the only way I feel comfortable nursing her is with her laying by my side in the bed, and changing her diaper has turned into pure torture. Every time I look at this harness on her I just want to cry. I wish I could take away her pain. Seeing her cry with every movement makes me want to die. I HATE that I've done this to my baby and I hope one day she'll forgive me for it.
